Created By (User)Jenny Andersson
Date CreatedApril 27, 2022
Reflecting back on the potential I first saw for this work and myself in it and how that has shifted — what is the next order of actualization (i.e., developmental edge) I am being pulled toward?

I am not sure that I could immediately see the potential of myself in it at first beause there was so much rich knowledge I was overwhelmed with how to work with it and what to do with it. I came with the idea that it would help me ground the work for the CIC I was birthing at the time in something that was 'really' regenerative (we called the CIC The Really Regenerative Centre because we are still always asking the question - but is this 'really' regenerative?). With the advent of covid much changed. Two years after TRP I feel I am only now finding the opportunities to practice the work in the world - and I can only truly embody the work if I practice constantly. The next stage I sense into is gradually to become more embodied with the work rather than mechaniscal with it - which I feel I still am now. I lack confidence to be intuitive with it so this is sometthing I am working on. Above all I have much work yet to do to ground the work in a supportive, solidarity with others. To move from lone wolf to co-creative partner in this field of work. Though Regenesis is a 'safe space' for me to come and expriment, I am still very 'alone' in the outer world.

What inner development will that require?

The journey from lone wolf to co-creative collaboration is one I have been working at for perhaps 8 years. I am not sure it has moved on at all which is an indication that whatever inner development it does require, I haven't yet hit on what it is. My friend and biomimicry colleague Mila speaks of finding her grounding in her loyalty to the ecosystem - so perhaps there is some clarity of role and acceptance of purpose that I am still resisting. I have struggles with the word leadership. I had struggles with the 'intensive' at TRP with the focus on a Promise Beyond Ableness. I sense I am always doing things that are miles beyond my ableness but they are more about innate character and essence than commitment to service and the field. So perhaps something in there somewhere.

What would reconciling those make possible in terms of the evolving role I could play and the unique contribution I could make?

I do not yet know. I am working on reconciling the core of the role I play in the work and the ecosystem in which I play it. Am I an educator? yes and yet no. I have no pedagogic training that would allow me to be an educator even though I am. Am I a regenerative designer or economic shaper or content creator. I am all of those to some extent and none of them. So I am still very muddy on my evolving role and its unique contribution - as a generalist who is not expert or specialist in anything.