That's the question, isn't it? I've spent the last 25 years learning and working across a huge array of contexts, populations, ecologies, epistomologies, etc. I've recently been called to yet again expand my knowledge and understanding, while at the same time figuring out how to synthesize what I've learned, and how these two realms might come together in unique offerings. Damned if I know what that looks like though, which is a prime motivator for doing this program.

This is a question I posed to myself during the early days of the pandemic. I had first asked myself something along the lines of "What am I supposed to do?", and the response to that was "Wrong question." I then found myself asking instead "What is my role?", and the answer that came back was "Pattern Disruptor." I realized that fundamentally - regardless of the educational context - I find myself helping people see their unconscious thinking paradigms inherited from modern-Western worldview that often result in overly simplified, exaggerated, binary, dualistic, oppositional thinking. My role seems to be to shed light on those thought-patterns (without making them "wrong"), and help people expand their worldviews and paradigms in order to allow for multiple perceptions, and allow them to see other possibilities. All this requires identifying the unhelpful/undesired patterns, and then intelligently and compassionately (but sometimes firmly) helping them disrupt these patterns to allow for something new.

I rarely think in "goals." Instead I think about a relatively constant process of improvement; how to take this role and become more skilled in educating across more diverse people and more diverse contexts. That's an ongoing process, with a constant orientation towards, "can I do this better?" I guess if I had to put it towards a goal-oriented achievement, it would be something to do with having a greater impact across greater diversity.

To become less attached to fear and doubt, to lessen my anxiety, anger, and frustration at systems and people that perpetuate these systems. I also have a very strong resistance to "putting myself out there." I fear the potential negative attention and misunderstanding, coupled with some kind of version of the notorious "imposter syndrome." Said another way, the feedback I've been given over the years supports the idea that an increase in contribution and impact would be appreciated and needed, but the thought of making myself known - at least in the ways that it seems one must do in this modern world- are quite terrifying to me.

See question related to "goals" above, combined with the struggle that I don't know. I don't know where it's best for me to be or what the possibilities are. Working for another organization? Starting my own thing? I'm hoping to get a little clarity about that through this program. What are the possibilities that I'm not seeing right now, as a result of my current state of mind?

A lot of passion, time, energy, and oftentimes money in pursuing knowledge and understanding about everything: Reality, myself, what seems to be the patterns that are true for humans before language, culture, ethnicity, race, even ecology. What seems to be true about us before all those constructs and contexts? If there are patterns before all those things, they are most likely "true." If we can identify, articulate, and experience those things, then that's probably what's going to set us up best for success in creating a world that works for people and planet.

Indigenous, Eastern, and Western thought and their intersections, ontologies, and epistomologies; living systems, ecology, tracking; martial arts; modern psychology, linguistics, neuroscience, and quantum mechanics; spiritual and religions traditions; systems theory; food systems and permaculture. There are too many thinkers over the last three decades to list.

I talk to the animals and plants. They don't always seem to communicate, but sometimes they do. I believe all forms of life have some level of consciousness and sentience. I want them to know that I see them, and that I'm doing my best to be in proper relationship with them. I believe that for humans, when we're actually in right relationship with the rest of the natural world, our gift is that we can improve the conditions of life for all of life. That's our greatest gift and highest potential. The further we stray from that relationship, we get precisely what we have right now.