I currently work as an apprentice CBT therapist for the UK National Health Service. This is my first professional step on a journey that has previously included sharing circle work, men's work and emotional intelligence coaching. I guess the thread that runs through these occupations, and stretches out before me, is one of helping people to alchemise the lead of suffering into the gold of their wholeness, their uniqueness (to use Regenesis language) and, by extension, to find their life's calling.

Spaceholder, nourisher - in a group capacity I am called to the metaphor of mycelium in the forest: connected to everyone, nourishing and supporting from below, underground, the dark. To broadly try and do the opposite of taking up space, to create the space and lift others up into it. And when this happens successfully, in a way I am only ever partly responsible for, I receive great joy from witnessing people in their essence in the space I have helped create, whether that be expressing deep dark pains or their most radiant selves, that connection to the reality of them it what motivates me.
Guide - in a more 1-to-1, therapeutic context I try to embody the energy of guide, or older brother, walking alongside, sharing the journey, getting down into the hole that someone is stuck in and saying "I'm here for you". This is a role rooted in empathy, because often I've been in the hole myself and received wisdom and support from others to get myself out. 'Power with' is the dynamic I am aiming towards.
And these roles combine in my other favourite metaphor: both the mixing bowl and the whisk. Holding the space for others to bring what is alive for them and then mixing the ingredients that everyone brings with enquiry and guiding questions.

I don't have goals or aims at the moment. This course comes towards mid-way through the greatest metamorphosis of my life as I am currently in 12 Step addiction recovery, starting last May. 2023 was a process of breakdown from caterpillar to cellular goo, letting go of deep traumas and 27 years of fear, shame and loneliness. Through 2024 I have been settling into the stillness of being goo, finding self-contentment for the first time in my life and therefore trusting the journey to unfold one day at a time. I haven't yet felt called to visioning and manifesting any clear crystallisation into a moth, but there are plenty of potential paths that I can see ahead.
They include surf therapy for addiction and/or men's mental health - weaving nature connection practises, flow, play and therapy to connect people more deeply to themselves, others and the planet around them. The ultimate possible vision is a regenerative rehab centre, bringing all of these principles into a place and community for those who suffer to find wholeness.

There's still plenty of old habits to let go of that no longer serve, that work will be ongoing for the rest of my life.
I am here to regenerate my relationship to myself, other people and the world around me. To explore some alternatives to the Western narratives that have got me this far, and are certainly less than ideal. What would it look like to have a regenerative perspective of my addictive patterns, my longstanding mental health challenges, my relationship to my body and the daily pain I experience, to other people, to the world and the climate and ecological crisis we are experiencing? These are the main edges of growth at the moment.

What does regenerative mental health look like? What would a regenerative mental health service look like? To get really specific, how would a regenerative version of NHS Talking Therapies Cornwall look and feel?
Within a very rigid system of medical psychology, can I find new ways of seeing and relating to my clients to more effectively guide them into wholeness? Who do I need to become for this to be possible?

Wow, what a question.
I'll start with a whole lot of inner development work: healing, self-awareness, therapy, emotional reconnection. I experienced a mental health crisis when I left school aged 18 and the world as I knew it seemed to fall apart. Since then I have been shown, in ever deeper layers, how deeply into my healing journey I need to go to become the person who is capable of manifesting the visions that have motivated yet always aluded me. The seeds of inspiration are aplenty, but they have always fallen on barren soil. Now more than ever I am mulching and composting to evolve a being fertile enough for these visions to germinate and take root.
And at the same time I have invested so much time and energy in evolving the skills and capacities that allow me to express my values, to be of service. Evolving my thinking, feeling, how I communicate the relate with the world. Gathering the tools and experience required for the journey ahead. Books, podcasts, courses and conversations... journalling, journalling, journalling.. who am I? What is this all about? What does it mean to live a full life?

At a very simple level I am a swirl of tension between science and spirituality. Biology was my journey, the natural world was my teacher and science was my dominant lens for the world, leaving school and through university. And, at the same time, rebuilding myself from my mental health crisis at 18 involved meditation, Buddhism, spirituality, which evolved into more eastern philosophy, then nature connection and indigenous wisdom. And science and spirituality combined in the face of the climate and ecological crisis: it became obvious they would both be needed to get us out of this mess.
Nonviolent Communication was a profound gift to completely transform my relationship to self and others. The lens of universal human needs is foundational to all my thinking. Emotions are central to how I relate to myself, others and the world. David Weinstock gifted me embodied NVC, emphasising the spirituality of the tradition.
Martin Shaw has been my master of myth and storytelling. He's given me a wicked-grinned trickster angle to stir up tension with the rigid scientific mindset and the perhaps too-clean spiritualist. I love the grit and messiness of myth.
Psychology and trauma definitely dominate the narratives that I tell about myself. I've found that science works best for me when it is in service to compassion and understanding, rather than a master unto itself. Understanding what people have been through and how they have come to be who they are helps me to empathise, to connect with them as human and try to get out of judgment and othering. I do pretty much believe (even though it can be difficult) that all humans are fundamentally good and well-meaning, some of us are just a bit f**ked up and that's not our fault.

Not yet. There’s too much messy entangled story swirling round in my brain and I have a cautious aversion to grand narratives. I’ll have to sit with this and perhaps by the end of the course I’ll have an answer